Well my 4th of July technically started on a boat, but apparently the boat party had started, rocked out and ended before we got there at 2 am because by the time Dev and I got there (cap-sacs resting in our bags for their big day the next day), the boat was docked, the booze was drank and people were going to bed or actually tucking themselves into sleeping bags on all flat surfaces around the boat. Not our kind of party. We left and went back to the house we were staying at for the weekend where I tucked myself in with as many red vines as I could fit in my scroungy hands (and mouth) and went to sleep. Its been a good night if you fall asleep while feeding yourself candy, in my book at least.

We woke up and it was the 4th of July. Happy Birthday ‘Merica!

We headed back to the boat, with a pit stop to grab more booze than we could actually carry. Luckily we came up with a genius plan to lighten our load…playing chug your beer on the walk there. It worked well. We got to the boat, threw our cap-sacs on and set sail. Or actually started the motor. But we were on a sailboat so it was kind of like sailing. After a few beers and a bottle of champagne I could have been flying and wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

Everyone looked pretty amazing in their cap-sacs and various other neon accent gear. Breaking it down to electronic music care of DJ Thousandaire. And wearing pink fake mustaches. Not sure where they came from but they were awesome. Most of my friends had never seen cap-sacs before so they were all pretty stoked to put random shit in the fanny packs on their heads. It was an amazing day. And then I found some tinsel. When I drink, I think the alcohol reacts with my body in a way that makes me magnetized to tinsel. I always seem to find it. And once I find it, I wear it. This time I danced with it first. Then wore it.

Full disclosure, I don’t know how to swim. I should have mentioned this earlier (to you and…um…everyone) but its kind of embarrassing to be 27 years old and not know how to swim. Its especially embarrassing when you are 27 years old on a boat with all your friends and you are too scared to go in the water because you don’t know how to swim. Luckily for me this problem was also easily solved. Life jackets! They go great with tinsel. My outfit was complete. And practical. Once I finally got duded up and ready to go swimming (tinsel, lifejacket and cap-sac) the plan changed. Instead of swimming we were taking the dingy to other boats. Great. Well I wasn’t taking my outfit off so I guess I was boarding boats as is. Once I got on the random boat we boarded I realized I was “that girl.” I didn’t want to be “that girl.” I really didn’t. But I was. I guess we hung out and took some pictures. I kind of blocked this part of the day out. Oh and we also saved a boat that was sinking. I’m almost positive I had very little part in saving this boat, but I was on the dingy with the guy that helped save a boat so basically I am a hero.

After the boat we wore the tinsel to the bars, got low to Too Short, drank some Mad Dog and shotgunned a beer with a pretty sketch, hopefully not but probably homeless dude and went back to the boat. The cap-sacs came back on and we had a rave.

Fast forward to the next morning. I wake up shaking with bruises covering most of my body and my cap-sac on. Happy Birthday America!

This weekend we are having a rubiks cube themed party. You start out wearing a bunch of different colors and by the end of the night you need to be wearing one. The cap-sacs are invited. Blog and pictures to follow…